Living on our own drama

I’ve been dealing with some drama of my own and I didn’t even know that it was happening until yesterday. I moved out of my parent’s house 3-4 years ago. I don’t think they’ve accepted me moving out and I think it has been brewing under the surface for a long time. I hang out at their house sometimes. They’ve recently started announcing, non-stop that I live there and my fiancé also lives there. No we don’t. We have our own place that we live in. They continued to say that we live there and they want us to clean the room. Every phone call I have with my mother, she tells me to clean the room. I don’t mind tidying up after we hang out there, but we don’t reside there! They want us to decorate the room too. I don’t want to. I don’t care what happens to the room at all because it’s not mine.

It’s gotten pretty bad. They’ve also started telling us how to clean the kitchen. The thing is… I go there just to hang out. It’s the same feeling I have when I go to my sister’s house to hang out. My sister used to live at my parent’s house. She was always told what to clean and she had to live under my parent’s rules. I moved out so I can have complete freedom from those rules. Once I heard my parents saying the rules, I had to leave. I don’t think I’m going to hang out there anymore at all. That is not my room. And that is not the place where I live anymore.

It’s frustrating to deal with parents in general. You tell them something and if they don’t like it, they give you a confused look. I don’t want to diss my parents, but the things they say make me feel uncomfortable. I want to be free. I’ve been living on my own for awhile now. I don’t want to give them the permission to treat me as a child. I think that once they see I’m not hanging out there anymore, they’ll realize that I do not live there. I really don’t like the words they use when they say we live there. It makes me super uncomfortable and I almost always just flee the room.

What I’ve learned from blogging

I think it’s been very interesting to start a blog. I’m not a newbie to blogging because my blog has been active for almost three years now, but I feel like time hasn’t really passed for me. I feel even more tied to my blog than I have before. It’s like having an account for a long time. All of the blog posts that you’ve written are stored on here. And I’m so happy that I started blogging.

I’ve learned that blogging is hard. It’s hard in the beginning when you first start. After a couple of years, you’ll find it to be easier than before. When I heard everyone talk about how blogging is difficult, I ignored it. I thought that blogging wasn’t difficult because there were so many success stories online. The truth is that those success stories are only maybe 1% of the entire blogging community. Don’t be fooled to think that this is an overnight thing. It’s definitely not. Watch a YouTube channel and observe how much time, money, and effort is put into their videos. Try to match the effort that they are giving for their channel. And see if it’s the same. Overall, I want to leave you with one piece of advice. Love your blog. Cherish the fact that you have a platform to speak from. Enjoy the blogging process and find fulfillment from creating something for yourself. Happy blogging!

Making my own opportunities

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been forced to go back to seeking opportunities. I never knew how difficult it would be. The world continues to change while I still feel like I’m stuck in the same place. I want to grow, but maybe I’m just seeking the unobtainable. I don’t really know what my career should be. I think I’m still searching. I’m still in my 20s and it feels like the right time to search. Searching for what, though? I don’t know. I have no clue and the best part of it is that I know my 20s will pass soon. I want to get my life together and start making a great income. I was doing completely fine teaching piano with my students and making a good income from it. Now, however, I feel like I’m sinking. And I lost a good portion of my students during this pandemic. What do I do? Do I continue to panic? I wish I knew where life is taking me. For now, I’m going to continue to try to get more students and hope for the best.

Living an opulent lifestyle

I’m not even sure if opulent is a word. It has been awhile since I’ve studied or tried to learn something new. I have been working and studying languages, but I just don’t feel like I’m gaining any new knowledge. In this post, I want to talk about living a lifestyle that is extravagant. I definitely think that I live an opulent lifestyle. I make sure that I have all of my comfort items and more. For example, I have four oil diffusers for my room. FOUR! I don’t need that many, but I like being able to diffuse oils constantly. Another example is that I have about eight candles in my room. I don’t need that many. Some would say that two candles would suffice… but not for me. I need to have variety. I know that I am very extra and I could cut down on the amount of stuff I own, but I don’t want to.

I believe that life is about fulfillment. And I feel fulfilled when I make myself happy. Am I the only person that does this?

Life changing happiness

I don’t know about you guys but I’ve been in such a funk since the quarantine started. And now I’m finally starting to feel like my old self again. I also think it’s because I started blogging again. It feels good to be back. I don’t feel like I’m dreading each day and waiting for this quarantine to be over anymore. No one knows how long this will last and why not just make the best of it?

I have been working on improving myself. I’ve been cleaning and organizing my things. And that has relieved much of my stress that I have been having. I’ve also been working a lot. Work keeps my mind off of overthinking. And that’s important to me.

I want to talk about animal crossing too. I’ve been playing a lot of it. And I’m in the process of trying to upgrade my stuff. Here are some of my photos of my favorite moments so far. I highly recommend playing animal crossing pocketcamp first before you commit to buying the new animal crossing game. I am not going to let myself buy the game unless I know that I will commit to playing it. I don’t want to spend a month of playing and then never play it again.

Talking to my animals as they gather around me
Redesigning my campsite to celebrate bunny day
Logging in every day and getting the animal crossing designed camper!!
Someone buying out my entire marketplace shop 😭

Something wrong

I think there’s something wrong with my WordPress page because it doesn’t show me my notifications for my likes or comments. I’m not sure how to fix it, but I can still see my stats perfectly fine on another page.

I didn’t have such a good day today. It started out fine when I was teaching my first four lessons and things went downhill around the afternoon. I wasn’t expecting these students who are on a break from lessons due to the quarantine to continue lessons right now, but I only wanted to show them that there’s a game for the piano that they could play in the meantime. It costs them nothing to download and use it, but they said that they don’t want to. They said that they have too much on their plate right now. I don’t know if it’s because my hormones are all over the place, but them acting like that really peeved me. They don’t have to pay for anything! I’m not asking them for anything. And I don’t get anything from it. They still didn’t want it. Fine. I don’t expect for them to come back because I won’t keep their spot open. I know it’s harsh, but I have things to do and I know I’ve been way too nice. I’m done with it.

This quarantine has made me super irritated in some ways and happy in other ways. I’ve been able to travel often. I like getting away from everyone. And I constantly need to have my space. It has been refreshing for me. I’ve also been spending a lot of alone time. I feel like the mantra of my life is to be by myself, but it’s my favorite thing to do. Not much has been new. I hope blogging my feelings will help me with feeling better.

Hello I’m back :)

I apologize so much for not being on here and I know there’s a lot to explain. Ever since the quarantine started, I’ve had zero inspiration to be productive and the only thing I’ve been doing is trying to keep my piano studio together. I know there is no excuse for such a long hiatus, but that is honestly what I’ve been going through. I hope you all are okay during this time and are staying safe. I hope to post more content on here and look out for more blog posts!

Money problems

I am so irritated right now, but I kept thinking about how great this content will be. The saga of my life continues as the auto shop which supposedly accepts card payments prefers cash payments instead. I’m a student which means I don’t make a lot of money. And I was going to use my card to pay for it. I guess I can’t now. The more I think about it, the more irritated I become. Why say that they accept card when they really don’t? I decided that I’m going to reduce all of my spending until I can pay off all of the debt. My studying for school will have to be put on hold. I don’t know why that whenever I deal with my family, I always end up spending tons of money. They told me to stop working as much so I can study and then now they’re asking why I don’t have a lot of money. Hmm I wonder why? They made me tank my gpa when I was in undergrad because they forced me to choose a tough major. And I am now paying a lot in student loans for it. They want me to pay a bunch in future loans because being in 200k in debt is worth it to them. I’m so sick of this. I’m better off making all of my own decisions. I need to go somewhere far away. Thank god I moved out two years ago.

No one can tell me what to do now

I think I’ve leveled up this year. I feel more strong than I ever did before. And I feel very secure in what my future is going to look like. I know that I will be okay no matter what. I have worked so hard the last couple of days and I’m so proud that I haven’t given up. I think most people would have called it quits if they had to work so hard for something. I know that I have a good future and I’m heading right for it.

As I’m getting older, I’ve also learned that no one can tell me what to do anymore. It doesn’t really matter what my parents want me to do. I have made all the decisions for myself and I’m proud of that. I know that my life is mine now. And I used to be so irritated when I was told what to do all of the time. It’s good to know that I don’t have to deal with my parents hovering over everything I do anymore. My life is free and not exhausting.

I’m also running out of ideas of what to write about. I’ve been fairly active on my blog for the past couple of months. I love blogging, but I need new ideas. Let me know what are some good ideas to write about!

Still suffering from neck pain

I’m writing this from the bike at my gym. Today, I worked about 7-8 hours with medium to severe neck pain from my car accident. It has been horrible to have this pain throughout the day, but I couldn’t stop work just because of my pain. I need to continue to work so I can pay off the damages to my car. And that is absolutely necessary for me to do. I might be able to take some time off, but today was not a day I could take a day off. There was way too much work I had to do along with preparing my students for festival and musicianship exams. They need me to be there to make sure everything is moving forward. And I have students that need to prepare for our annual recital.

I did take some natural remedy that I bought from Sprouts, but I feel like it only works somewhat. I probably need to go see a chiropractor and I don’t think I can avoid it anymore. I need to be present for my students during this time of year or else they won’t be able to compete. And this is what we have worked hard for. I’ve been slowly leveling all of them up, so I can prepare them to take the next step in their exams.

I’ve been looking into teaching through FaceTime or online. I have done that with one student when I was unable to have lessons face to face. I just don’t think it would work with my younger students. It might, but there are way too many things we have to do during lessons. The good news is that I’ve almost completed my entire to do list. And I’m pretty proud. I’ve been working every single day at it. The list had about 15-25 items on it. I’m a busy person, but it’s all worth it. I love feeling accomplished.

Why so many people hate the ending for Alex Karev in Grey’s Anatomy

I’m not going to lie… I hated it too, but I’ve been thinking about the ending a lot. Alex ended up going back to Izzie to take care of his children he never knew he had. And I’m sure everyone including me are stunned to see him leave Jo. I’ve been watching Grey’s Anatomy for many years and while I don’t watch it on television when new episodes air, I keep up with the show through YouTube clips as they’re uploaded. I watch all of the clips and I read articles about what’s happening. I know many people might disagree with me about this, but I like the ending for Alex. Izzie broke his heart and ran away. We don’t know if she ran away because she didn’t think Alex could ever be great husband material. She just gathered everything she had and left. It left Alex completely broken. In many ways, the young Alex we all disliked could never be responsible for children. He was immature and unlikable. It makes sense that he is now ready to have children of his own. His entire life has changed. I’m pretty sure that if Izzie came back into his life, he wouldn’t be with her. The reason why he chose her is because he found out he has kids. He would never abandon them like he was abandoned. I honestly like this ending for Alex. And I urge everyone to sit with this ending for a couple of days. I promise you’ll slowly start to see that this is the only proper ending for Alex. The writers are truly amazing.

The impact of having therapy

I’ve been sharing a lot about myself and one of the things I’ve done to better improve my mental health was to receive therapy. I know that there is a negative connotation when someone says therapy, but I promise you that it is nothing like what you would think. It has helped me so much in learning about myself, conquering problems that I’ve had, and soothing me when I’m in a negative mindset.

I initially learned about therapy when YouTuber Nikki Phillippi talked about it on her YouTube channel. She admitted that she talked to a therapist every week about herself and her life. And I was intrigued. I always thought that therapy was expensive, so I never gave it a second thought. I remember learning about regain from another YouTuber that I can’t remember. I think she was a medical student and she used it to talk through her anxiety/stress related problems. I never thought that therapy would be affordable. The YouTuber recommended using regain. Regain offers a discount if you need it. I definitely needed it. I started using it by myself when my partner and I were going through issues. And eventually he joined me in my sessions. I don’t recommend it all the time because my therapist was quick to hang up the phone and she was only available to speak once a week. She was also slow on responding to messages. That’s the thing with finding a good therapist. You have to be careful to find someone that actually cares about your problems. Ours didn’t even know our names after two to three months working with her. We stopped the subscription.

I was using a crisis hotline to speak to a counselor only when I was truly upset. And it helped. I was able to talk to them on the phone, but the wait times were horrible. You could end up waiting for thirty minutes. I could imagine someone being more triggered in their negative mental state if they had to wait so long to talk to someone. The upside was that it was free. I was using this hotline every so often until I found the best form of therapy available.

I currently use the regain texting hotline which is free. And it connects me to a counselor within a minute. The counselors are very caring and they actually remember your name! The advice that they give is infinitely better than all of my previous experiences with therapy. I have been using this every single time when I’m upset. And it has changed my life for the better. They stay with you on the phone for hours if you need. I imagine them being like a friend you’re texting throughout the day. They are responsive and you never have to wait for long to receive a response. I’ll have the information below and I don’t get anything from mentioning them in my blog. I just really like their service. And like Nikki Phillippi said, she believes that everyone needs a therapist. Life gets so hard sometimes. I really like the idea that it’s a third party that can give unbiased advice. We all need someone to be there to talk to us and to help us back up. I hope this has helped someone to find help if they need it. You are never alone in your battles.

I used this today and it reaffirms how much I like this service. Regain: Text “regain” to 741741

Update on my car accident and my life

It has been a rough two days so far. I feel like life has thrown a lot at me and I have felt overwhelmed at times. I know that things are not going to get easier. I’m always going to have to face these challenges. And I just hope that it won’t get worse. Right now, I’m sharing a car with my partner. It has been a whirlwind of things ranging from calling chiropractors and looking at the damages on my car. I already have a ton on my plate with my piano studio, but now I feel like the load has grown even more. It feels suffocating really. I don’t want to have to do so many things. I’m tired and maybe I just need to take a nap.

In other news, I’ve learned about the corona virus coming to my city. And people are filled with mayhem. I see that all the waters are sold out and I haven’t been able to buy hand sanitizer for awhile now. I went to walgreens and they weren’t there. I went to smiths and I was able to buy some hand sanitizing wipes. The rest were all sold out. I wish there were more, but that’s not the case right now. I know that some people think that it’s foolish to stock up on these items. And it’s only raising the cost. However, I think that I would rather buy water at a cheaper price than buy it at $50. If you can get these items now at a good price, I would buy it. I wouldn’t wait because the prices are going to skyrocket. And these are items that you are going to use anyways so it’s not really a waste.

I’m going to continue to try to get things done. I feel so hopeless right now, but I know I will be okay eventually. With lots of therapy and cuddles with my dog, I can conquer anything. Wish me tons of luck.

My second car accident in less than six months

Today, I got into my second car accident. Yes, I wasn’t paying attention when I was driving. I looked down for a second and I didn’t have enough time to break, so I ended up rear ending another car. I was traumatized. You never know what is going to happen after the car accident. Am I going to survive this? Is this going to cause me a lot of injuries? Is the other driver okay? I saw my car do things that I didn’t know it could do and I felt terrible about it. The car I hit ended up being completely fine. There wasn’t even a dent in the other car, so the other driver ended up letting me go. He wasn’t upset or anything. I was so grateful. I then pulled into another community to absorb all of the shock of what just happened. I turned off the engine and I just sat in my car trying to let the shock wear off.

Since I’m a huge perfectionist, I was so upset with myself for doing this again. I wanted to hate myself, but I ultimately knew that it was only an accident. I didn’t do this on purpose and people make mistakes. I would never had expected this to happen today, but I can’t give myself a really hard time. I have to understand that this is my fault and I need to take responsibility for it, but I do not have to continue to beat myself up for it. What’s done is done. And I need to start fixing it. I sat there for almost forty minutes before my mind was clear again. I have to say though that my neck hurts and my head is still numb from the accident. I’m going to call a chiropractor tomorrow and try to help myself to start healing. And I already dropped my car off to an auto shop to start appraising the damages. I was so scared during the accident because my knees hit the car. I thought I lost both of my legs. And I honestly think that I’m still suffering ptsd from what happened.

I’ve learned that I need to lessen my driving because I drive a lot for my job. And I am at more of a risk of getting into a car accident than most people are because I’m always driving. I thought about my blog and how I need to start relying on it more. I’m lucky to have a supportive family and partner, but I need to be more independent. I’m going to take some time off today and try to relax my head from pounding. I’ll talk to everyone tomorrow. Thank you for reading.

A Review of ‘Knives Out’ the Movie

I’ve been looking at rotten tomatoes and I noticed that anybody can say that they are a movie critic. Literally anyone can write a review and say that they are a critic! I don’t see the difference between a movie critic and the audience. Anyways, I decided that since I love movies so much, I am going to be a movie reviewer. And I’ve watched a lot of movies so far. I am not going to be harsh like the reviews I see on rotten tomatoes. The reviews made by critics are ridiculous. They only say negative things. For example, the reviews they wrote about Jumanji were terrible. They called it stupid. I don’t think the movie was stupid. And they don’t even say why it’s stupid!

Anyways, I just finished watching Knives Out and it is the best movie I’ve seen in awhile. The movie was well-written with many plot twists. And I thoroughly enjoyed watching it in the theaters. The movie itself is pretty long, but it keeps you engaged all throughout the movie. You’re always wondering who killed the grandfather and why. I don’t want to give out any spoilers, but I highly recommend watching it in the movie theaters while it’s still out. I don’t think watching it at home will do it justice.

I noticed many similarities that my family has to the family in the movie. My family has secrets and hidden agendas at times. I would say that the movie accurately represents the dynamics of a disjointed family. Not everyone is happy being in a family at times. And you don’t always get along with your family. It was very enjoyable to see all of the characters interact with one another and the family aspect of the movie was the best part for me.

I also don’t usually have pictures with my blog posts, but I found that this picture is pretty nice. Maybe I will have more pictures on my posts in the future!

Working hard even when you don’t see any results

My life has been a constant hamster wheel where I feel like I’ve been running and I haven’t gotten anywhere. It’s disappointing to think that all of your hard work hasn’t produced any results, but don’t give up. You have to keep going. I would never stop trying even when I fail. If you want something badly enough, you will go to great lengths to achieve them. I’ve spent so much time working on myself. And honestly, I haven’t seen any results. The results might be too small for me to appreciate it also. I often feel like my hard work has done nothing for me. I will keep going, however. I feel like I’m just about to bloom. All of this hard work will pay off. Stay strong and believe.

Feeling very self-conscious

Ever since my readership has grown, I’ve felt pressure to choose topics that are appropriate. I would usually write about whatever comes to my mind and I haven’t really done that in awhile. I would write these thoughts now on my other blogs, but I wouldn’t write them on my main blog.

I feel like I have to watch what I say because I have so many viewers that I don’t want to offend. I apologize if I haven’t been writing. It has been especially tough to find topics to write about on this blog. It’s not about what’s on my mind anymore. I have to be careful when I’m writing. I hope to be able to write more and honestly, I think 2020 hasn’t been good to me because I’ve been so closed off. I haven’t been writing many blog posts. And I need to make a change. Let’s do this together and conquer 2020. I believe we all need a good restart to this year.

Not a good year so far

I’ve had a rough start to this year. I didn’t get the lsat score I wanted and I feel like my mental status tanked completely. I was also sick multiple times and it’s only February. I don’t know if this is foreshadowing how the rest of my year will be. I know I shouldn’t think of it this way, but I can’t help it. I want a good year for myself. And I want to achieve my goals. Maybe life is not always about achieving goals, but to constantly want to improve. The end is not better than the journey. I’ve been working so hard to make a better life for myself. And I feel like my efforts are lost. I really hope that things get better soon.

Things that I want to change in my life

I’ve been reflecting on my previous post and I’ve came up with some ideas that I want to work on for myself. I’ve realized that I am definitely reliant on my partner for a part of my happiness and I want to be able to make myself happy too. I know that life is more than just relying on one person. It’s not that I don’t love him, I just want to be able to make myself just as happy as he makes me. Here is my list of changes I’m planning on making:

1. I’m going to manage my dinner every night. I know that this might sound simple, but I’ve been partly reliant on my partner for dinner and I cannot do that anymore. I want to have all of my food ready for me and I want to eat the best food possible. I also don’t want to worry about not having anything. I’m a grown woman and I need to start being completely responsible for this.

2. I’m going to start taking more financial responsibilities. I hate the idea of being reliant on other people because I want to become completely self-sufficient. Unfortunately, in order to do this, I will have to just start doing it. I will learn how to do this and eventually, it will become easier and easier to do.

3. I’m going to live my life regardless of the limitations I have. I have been isolating myself in my room because of the fear of other people judging me. I’m going to simply stop caring. I cannot let myself be pulled back by other people. There are so many things I’ve wanted to do, but I don’t because of other people. My life is still going and I don’t want to waste my time over other people.

4. I’m going to start saving money. I’ve realized over the years that money speaks more than words can. Someone can say mean things about me, but it wouldn’t matter if I had money and I was self-sufficient. I need to start making a savings account that I can fall back on. I want to be able to have money to take care of myself. And it will definitely help when people try to talk down to me because I know that their words won’t matter. I am someone and I will be fine just by myself.

5. I’m going to work harder on school. My education will change everything for me and I need to remember that this is my priority. I have a whole lifetime to be with my partner and I will have dinner with him every night in the future. Our future will be great. I have to remember that.

Of course, these goals are highly influenced by my own life, but I hope it can give everyone some perspective on their own lives. I’m still learning and I am going to continue on improving myself every day.

In need of a stress reliever

Ever since I was young, I didn’t really need to take care of my mental health. I would just go through whatever emotion I had completely and then I was over it. If I was sad, I would cry for hours and hours until I couldn’t cry anymore. If I was angry, I would just distance myself from people for a day or two. And if I was happy, I would be jumping up and down. Now, my emotions are not so easy to handle. I didn’t know that when I got older, I would have to focus on my mental health. I never had to worry about taking care of my stress. I remember my childhood and my high school years were filled with stress, and I seemed fine. My body wasn’t breaking down like it is now when I’m stressed.

I have had to focus on my mental heath constantly every single day. I remind myself to take breaks when I’m overworked or to get more sleep. And I am honestly tired from doing this. I take care of myself every single day. And I feel like my body needs me all the time.

I recently had a horrible migraine and I now know it’s because of stress. My body is filled with stress and I don’t know how to get rid of it. I don’t even know how to manage my stress. I think I need to have a couple of stress relievers that I can do or have every single day. If I don’t control my stress, it will take a heavy toll on my body. And I want to be alive to be there with my husband. I have brainstormed some stress relievers. I think I’ve come up with some good ideas. Of course, every person has a different way of relieving their stress and they also have different things they like. I enjoy blogging and it has always helped me to overcome any negative feelings I might be feeling. I feel so much better when I write things down. I also enjoy quiet. I don’t like loud music or television. I would much rather prefer sitting outside with no noises. Another stress reliever for me is the gym. I’ve talked about it before. And besides those ideas, I feel like I am at a loss for anymore stress relievers. I could develop a plant hobby or a cooking hobby. I just need something to help me cope with my stress for the next five years. If you guys have any ideas, I would greatly appreciate it.

There’s something very attractive about the written word

I think it’s very impressive if someone can write well and be able to articulate their thoughts onto paper. In my case, I write on a digital platform. My blog is my outlet and it gives me the ability to share all of my thoughts. I’ve been writing for awhile now. And none of this is new to me. You can go back to my old blogs and read everything I’ve ever written. I’m actually glad that I have a large capsule full of my own writing. I am also heavily attracted to those who write their feelings down. I love long paragraphs of text messages. And I crave these long messages. I want to know more about someone’s thoughts. I ultimately want to know what they’re thinking and the best way is to have it all written down. I can’t describe it very well, but I don’t think writing will ever go out of style. I want to write more and hopefully one day, I’ll be able to write a novel. It won’t be great, but it will be mine. And I hope to achieve these goals someday.

Don’t give up

I tell myself this every day: don’t give up. I know that I will never get anything if I choose to give up early. Life is about continuing to work hard day after day. You can put in a day’s worth of work and it won’t matter. You have to continue working for months and maybe years to get what you want. At first, I didn’t know if I had the perseverance to keep going. I felt like giving up. And I wanted to try doing something else. Well… I’m not going to give up. I’m going to continue pushing no matter what. I know I will achieve my goals and I cannot let myself get in the way. I will do this.

If you needed to hear this too, take a moment to appreciate all of the work you have done so far. Don’t discredit yourself. You are worth it. Nothing worth having is going to be easy.

You’ll Be Okay

I’ve learned the hard way that not everyone is going to like you. And that’s okay. You don’t need the approval of everyone especially when you don’t have to accept everyone either. I’ve learned to be picky with who I spend my energy on. This is my life and I am going to make sure that my life is fulfilling for myself. I am damn well sure that I am going to be happy. I’ve learned that nobody can take away my happiness. I’m not going to let them do so.

Every day in the new year has been a learning experience for me. I won’t say that I had the best start to the new year. It was pretty rough for me. I don’t really feel like this year will be the best year, but I’m going to try my best regardless. I know that I am going to be okay. I’m not going to let anything get me down.

I feel like I need to do something new. I’ve been doing the same things every day. I’m not too sure on what this new thing will be. I know that I want it to be special for myself. Maybe I should start a travel fund? I can save money for myself to go travel when I want to? That sounds amazing and I’ve never done something like that before.

2020 is THE YEAR

I’ve begun to realize that I can’t please everyone and I’m tired of trying. I know what I want from my own life and I’m trying to make myself happy, but there are obstacles in the way. I’ve known for a long time that I need to take care of myself and I’m ready to do so. I’m ready to start trying to protect my own happiness.

I’ve also noticed that time has gone so much faster since I’ve been focused on myself. I can’t wait to start reaping the rewards for myself. I’m ready to start living my life the way I want. Happy 2020 everyone!

Interesting observations

My life never ceases to amuse me or maybe it’s just people that never stop surprising me. I got into a car accident a couple weeks ago. I told the guy that I’ll fix his car and he took almost four weeks to go to a mechanic to get the quote. He just told me that he wants me to zelle him the money because he can’t take three days off of work to have his car fixed. I don’t think I trust him enough. He said that he’ll just fix it himself instead. I’m pretty peeved because I think he’ll just pocket the money. Plus, I’m annoyed at the fact that it took him four weeks to get a quote. It’s annoying. And I want to do the right thing to fix his car. I think I’m getting scammed. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I’ll just wait until I can get a second opinion.

I’ve also noticed that my students have been asking for a lot more than I can offer. I give stickers when they complete a song in their music book. I have tons of stickers from year and years of collecting them. And I don’t mind sharing my stickers with them. I actually have all of them using the same ones. Anyways, they have been asking me if they can keep the sticker pages. I don’t have the funds right now to just give away my supplies. And I thought it was pretty forward of them to ask. They’ve also been asking me to buy more. They’ll rip them and then ask me to buy some new ones. I don’t usually buy new ones because I have so many that I didn’t use yet. I told them that I’m not going to buy new ones until all the old ones are used. They’ve also been asking me for additional books and gifts if they finish their books. I don’t want to be a mean teacher, but I told them that the prize for finishing their book is the satisfaction of knowing they’ve worked hard.

I understand the need to want more things, but I can’t afford to do that right now. And if I already have these things, I’m definitely not going to buy new stuff. They should be more appreciative of what I’m giving and know that I’m already giving a lot. I am going to continue to not buy new stuff. And they will have to wait.

Add this to the list of things I’m learning about myself… I’m a loner!

In high school, I was interested in making new friends so I talked to everyone. I knew a lot of people and had many friends. Fast forward to college, I didn’t have many friends and I found myself staying home by myself most of the time. I wish I had more friends, but I wasn’t very sociable. And consequently, I was pretty lonely. Now, however, I never found the need to be sociable because I’m so busy all the time. I’m starting to think that I need to be sociable again. I need to start making friends because life is not as fun without them. With the new start of 2020, I’m going to try to make some new friends. And I hope that this year will be a little less lonely.

What is your purpose?

Are you living your purpose in life? Do you feel like everything you are doing right now is worth your energy and time? If you are not happy, make a change. Everything can be improved and the best thing is that you still have time to change your life. Ever since I’ve started writing, my life has changed for the better. I feel like I can understand my emotions a lot better than before. In summary, everything has changed. I’m happy. And my purpose in life is being fulfilled. Is yours?

Never want to rely on anyone

I’m beginning to learn the importance of never relying on other people. I’m getting really tired of having my family reject watching my teacup yorkie. She can be in her cage most of the time if necessary, but they just don’t want to help me in that regard. It’s not fair because I watch all seven of their dogs in total when they’re out of town. And I take them to the airport sometimes. I’m so tired of this. I haven’t asked them in over a year and a half now.

I’m learning that I don’t want to rely on other people at all. This is reason #100,000 why I think it’s better to be alone. People don’t help you when you need them, but they expect your help when they need it. They always ask other people or me to watch their dogs for them, but they want me to get boarding for my dog when I’m away. I told them that I will never watch their dogs again in the future. I’m not going to give anything when I don’t get anything. I’m also going to start a boarding fund every time I go on vacation so I don’t have to deal with this. And I’m going to continue distancing myself from people. I don’t want anyone to talk to me or tell me what to do. I just want peace in my life. I’m fine with my friends being in my life, but family members are a no-go.

What I’ve learned about myself

I am not an easy person to get along with. I don’t care about anybody other than myself. My life is centered around myself. And I am so selfish.

These are things that I know about myself. I’ve lived with myself for 25 years now and I know that I am not an easy person to get along with. On the exterior, I can be very nice. If you get to know me better, you’ll find that I don’t like a lot of people. I’m introverted. I would rather spend tons of time by myself than to be around people 24/7. As I admit all of this, I also know that I could do better. I need to fix my flaws. I don’t like these negative traits. And they have brought nothing in my life other than hurt. I’m not saying that this year will be the year that I make some changes, but I’m not saying I won’t make any changes this year either.

I’ve learned that I think too much about other people. Even though I try to do my own thing, my mind can’t help but wander to think about what other people want from me. I am easily affected by criticisms or people talking about me. I don’t have a strong skin for these kinds of things. And ultimately, I know that this will ruin my life eventually.

I need to be by myself to focus. All of these things are extraneous and not necessary for me to reach my goals. If I look past everything, I know that I can be successful. I need to be a strong woman. I will do what I need to do. The path to success is lonely, but I must travel on this road by myself.

Thank you so much

I’ve been getting so much support for my blogs and I am thankful for everyone. I feel like I’m just a normal blogger that isn’t really special. I never thought that my blog would reach so many people. It’s truly a blessing to be a part of this community of fellow bloggers. Thank you for making blogging one of the best parts of my life! Happy blogging!

It’s too cold!

I’m getting really tired of people not turning on the heater during winter. I’m also sick of people who don’t turn on the ac during summer. I know it’s only a couple of dollars to turn on the heater, so why suffer in the cold? Why do people have to wear jackets to sleep? It doesn’t make sense to me. I remember sitting in someone’s car in the summer and they refused to turn on the ac. It was so selfish of them. I was sweating like crazy and I couldn’t breathe. I never let any of my passengers experience this. People are so cheap. It’s okay if they’re by themselves, but if there are other people, it’s wrong. I’m going to add this to my list of people I don’t want to be around. Smh

Another great day of teaching ⭐️

I had another great day of teaching. I’ve been having a lot of those and each day feels like a blessing. I know I haven’t been a perfect teacher. And that’s mostly because I’m very critical of myself. I know however that I will never take this for granted. I am lucky to call myself a teacher and it has been a blessing in my life.

I am happy to see all of my students every week. I never knew how many people cared about me. I never had many people to talk to when I was younger. Everyone had their own lives. I found myself spending a lot of time alone. That was okay, but I truly wished to be a part of a group. And now, I have many people to talk to. They are as happy to see me as happy as I am to see them. If I didn’t enjoy teaching, I don’t think I would have been able to do it for this long. You truly have to enjoy what you do or else you won’t be happy. Thank you God for blessing my life and I appreciate everything you have done for me.

No stress

I’m usually the person that is the most stressed, but I don’t think I am anymore. I think I am finally learning how to cope with my stress. I’ve learned that things are never as bad as they seem. The world isn’t going to fall apart. And I now know that I will be okay. I haven’t had the happiest time in some instances. There were events in my life that almost completely ruined me. If I had a choice, I would be vengeful but I’m not anymore. I just chose to separate myself completely from the things that caused it. I still have strong ptsd moments from it, but I know I’ll be okay. And I am happy now.

Blogging has helped a great deal with my stress. It’s amazing how therapeutic writing about my feelings are. I don’t know why I didn’t do this a long time ago. I just celebrated my two year anniversary on WordPress and I can’t believe it has been that long. My life has changed for the better and as we start 2020, I’m glad to say that things are getting pretty good. I’ve learned so many things this past year and two years ago. What almost tore me apart had made me stronger. I believe that god showed me what I don’t want in my life in order to make me stronger. People’s words don’t hurt me as much anymore because I know that I am a person deserving of happiness. Nothing is perfect obviously, but it will get there.

I am looking forward to many successes in the future. I know I am capable. I don’t need New Years resolutions to know what I want for myself because I’ve always been working towards my goals. I truly am a strong woman now.

I don’t like following rules

I’m not a rule follower. I don’t know if this is surprising to anyone, but I’ve always been like this. I don’t like to be boring and follow the rules. I like to create rules or to challenge new ideas. That doesn’t mean I have trouble with the law. I follow the law and I don’t break those kind of rules. I mean that I don’t like being told what to do in certain circumstances. I don’t like it when someone tells me what to do every single time I talk to them. I have a problem with that. For example, I never like when my parents still tell me what to do. There are some things I will listen and do if it is applicable/useful. The other nagging parts… I don’t like. I like creating my own path. Being told what to do when you’re 25 is not fun. I don’t understand why I still need to be told things when I already know what I need to do. This has led me to rebel. And I crave independence. I love doing my own thing and it has led me down the right path. When I was listening to my parents, I was pursuing med school and I eventually wasted thousands of dollars only to stop doing it later. I found that that was a huge waste of time and money. Life has been better since I’ve made my own decisions. Every now and again, they try to sway me to do something I don’t want to do and I have to stop it from happening. Rules are just not for me.

A Rant

I’ve noticed that many people or businesses like to give you options, but they are upset when you don’t choose the option they wanted you to choose. They just assume that you will do whatever they say as if you are hypnotized by their selling powers. And the possibility of rejecting them is not an option for them to accept. I think people should have the option to say no when they want to. We shouldn’t feel obligated to always say yes just because we’ll feel bad. In many cases, I don’t think tipping someone is required. Tipping is optional based on the service. We are giving in too much to businesses. Money comes from peoples’ hard earned pockets and they are wasting it by tipping bad service.

I also believe that those who don’t work as hard shouldn’t receive the same benefits as those who work really hard. They should not be allowed to enjoy the same benefits as hard workers do. It’s not fair and it shows that they don’t have to do anything. I am so irritated by these people, but there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

The future of my blog and what I’ll be doing in 2020

This new year will be a new change for me. I will be focusing more on school and studying. I feel like I have been so busy with other things that I haven’t had time to completely study. Don’t get me wrong, I study A LOT, but I want to be able to study more. In this case, I will be focusing more on my blog because I can work from home when I’m blogging. I’m going to have to rely on my blog more this coming year. It’s going to definitely throw me for a loop. For so long, I’ve been blogging every now and then. I will check in to see how my blogs are doing and I’ll read posts from other bloggers. I’ve never had to actually take blogging to the next level…at least not until this moment. I feel like this makes sense because a student couldn’t possibly work a full time job and go to school. I want to be able to work on my blog as a job someday. I know I’m not quite at that point with my blogging, but that would relieve a lot of stress for me. I would be able to work wherever I want and also study in the same place. Don’t worry, I’m not leaving blogging. I’m actually going to be blogging more. Look out for more blogs and I hope everyone has a great New Years!

Bring back the old Duolingo! 😭

I don’t know if I’m the only person that used to use duolingo to learn new languages. I was a huge fan of duolingo. I studied French, Chinese, Spanish, and German. It was my go-to app when I was sick. I completed tons of lessons. Most recently, they revamped the entire app and they deleted all of my progress… it literally took me months to complete all of those lessons. And I had to start from the very beginning again. Even worse, they made it so you can only complete two lessons a day. I used to be able to complete five or more lessons a day. It was basically unlimited and you could learn as much as you wanted.

I don’t think I will ever find a good language learning app like duolingo. And that’s such a shame. I’m so disappointed. I’m in love with learning French and now I’ll never be able to unless I download another app. I also won’t be able to learn how to read Chinese. I’m so frustrated. I can’t understand why every platform has to monetize their stuff. It makes everything worse. I am on the hunt for something else, but who knows if I can find an app like that. Sigh…

Thank you so much 🙏

I’m so thankful for my blogs and I know I don’t post as often as I would like. My blog has been one of my biggest accomplishments in my life because of how much work I’ve invested in it. I’m incredibly proud, even if this achievement isn’t as big as others’. I’m going to walk at my own pace. Thank you so much again for liking and reading my blog!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

I hope everyone stays warm this season and has a good holiday! I’m going to try to escape the cold this winter. It has been freezing where I live. Even the back window and the outside of my car has ice. I am looking forward to relaxing and spending some time to recuperate from being so busy. Merry Christmas and Happy New Years!

By the way, these gifs are too cute not to share!

Would you consider blogging full time?

I’ve always wondered what it would be like to completely rely on your blog for your job. I’ve heard of people on YouTube making enough from their blog to live, but I’m not so sure. I feel like you have to be blogging for a long time and you need strong blog posts. I don’t know what it would be like to rely on just my blog. I think I would panic, but it would be good to have the time to spend on your blog full time. You can construct better posts, post more often, and you can engage with your following more. I’m not considering going blogging full time, but I do want to be able to have my blog as a backup just in case anything happens. I’ve worked so hard on it. And I’ve worked hard on my other blogs too.

Do you blog full time or would you ever consider going blogging full time?

Are you blogging for fun or for profit?

We all have contemplated making a profit from our blog and that’s completely normal. When you put so much work into creating something, it can be worthwhile to make money from it. It can also motivate you to continue to blog if you can obtain monetary rewards from it.

Not everyone wants to make money from their blog though. Some of us want to be able to write whatever we want and be able to share it with other people. I believe that blogging for fun can be just as rewarding as blogging for profit. And no one is stopping you from monetizing your blog later in the future.

Whichever your reason for blogging is, make sure you have a strong attachment to it. Don’t do something just because other people are doing it. Do it because you want to. You are your own person, and the choice is yours.

How to protect your happiness

Never let anyone control everything you do. You are your own person and your happiness should be your number one priority. If anything gets close to threatening your happiness, get rid of it right away. I’m kind of a hermit. I don’t like to share too much of my information with others. I don’t feel the need to allow people to tell me what to do. I would rather stay by myself than to constantly be around others. I do like to be around my husband and my yorkie, but that’s about it. They’re the only two that let me be. They are chill and they’re never controlling.

I’ve found that my own happiness is so precious that I am constantly on guard. I will never let anyone take it away from me. I find that staying away from people creates less drama and more peace in my life. My closest friends are the ones that I let in my life, but I am very picky about who I spend my time with.

If you are like me, then you understand. I never want to let a day pass where I am unhappy or miserable because of someone else. My life is mine. And I am happy.

Taking time for yourself

I’m the kind of person that needs time to herself. I can’t be around a lot of people for a long time. I need to be by myself in order to stay calm. You’ll see me doing a lot of things by myself. I eat most of my meals alone. I relax by myself sometimes. And I prefer to have my alone time pretty much most of the day. I’ve always been like this my entire life. I think I’m a rare individual for feeling this way. I find it even more interesting that I frequently talk about moving to an island myself.

I might not be normal, but that’s okay with me. I know that I am super introverted and I’m happy. I don’t need other people to validate my feelings for myself. I have a strong sense of self and I’m okay with people leaving my life. When you realize that you’re the only person that can truly make you happy, your entire world changes for the better.

Living happily

I’ve been striving to figure out what makes me happy. Life has been a whirlwind this year. I don’t even remember what happened at the beginning of this year. All I know is that I’m about to be married and I’ve been living such a happy life with my soon to be husband. I never thought I would find someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I always wished for it, but I didn’t know it would happen. I’m excited for the rest of my life. We’ve been having more time together and it has been amazing. I hope everyone is having a good end to this year. I know we all need some hope that things will be better soon. As this year comes to an end, I hope that you find happiness and joy.

Why Your Blog Is Not Growing Repost

If you’re blog is growing at a slower rate than before or has stopped growing completely you don’t need to freak out just yet! It is most likely …

Why Your Blog Is Not Growing

I’ve been thinking about this topic for a couple of days and I couldn’t get myself to really pare it down into a blog post. Thank you for writing this post! It talks about everything I’ve been thinking about for blogging. Consistency and engagement are the two best ways to grow your blog. I completely agree.